The Misadventures of Robert!

AHOY guys. I post funny pictures and helpful tips on a daily bases. I welcome anyone to submit their own things or you can ask me anything and I will respond as soon as I can!
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geometricdeathtrap:

worthyourweightinfanfiction:

rachellephant:

tips to write college papers 

  • begin with “buckle your seatbelts, motherfuckers, because in eight short pages i am going to learn u a thing that i only learned myself about two hours ago, so sit down, shut up, and enjoy the experience of my 4-am-redbull-induced-self-hatred-fuelled-writing-extravaganza”
  • erase when finished with the paper

BUT THIS ACTUALLY WORKS

MAKE SURE YOU ERASE IT THOUGH

dansnipplehair:

orlandobloomers:

why is this dude wasting his fucking money on cigs when hes not gonna smoke em your fucking metaphor isnt worth that much homie get a job 

sherrocked:

awesomeness2471998:

sherrocked:

My dad just yelled “I SWEAR I’LL CUT OFF WHAT’S LEFT OF YOUR DICK IF YOU FUCKING TOUCH MY COKE DON’T YOU DARE” and I came in the room like what the fuck and it was my dad holding up a shoe and my cat sitting by a glass of coca-cola with his paw almost touching inside of it and both of them didn’t even break eye contact with each other
I’m so done with my life

'Murica

Actually my father is Palestinian.

literallysame:

I don’t even press play anymore I just reblog

emmablackery:

hobgoblinhero:

the-time-goddess-of-221b:

smoochlock:

so my mum told me that as a kid she would peel an apple and throw the peel over her shoulder, and the peel would take the shape of the first letter of her future spouse. naturally, i decided to do it and

image

i’m fucking crying 

it says ‘no.’

it literally says NO.

oh my god

with a period, end of story. 

perhaps you’re just marrying a norman